Dear Mr. Rafi Aamer,

Further to your post 421, here is some thing that I got from introductory notes from a Quranic translation at  www.free-minds.org . Here is what it says and I think it makes sense:  

Be Aware Of Multiple Meaning Words

 

Some Arabic words, like in English, may have more than one related meaning. Thus ascribing the ‘wrong’ meaning may sometimes create contradictions between verses in the Scripture or give a strange understanding to the topic the verse is addressing.

 

In such cases, the advice from the Scripture itself is to follow the best meaning derived…

 

“The ones who listen to what is being said, and then follow the best of it. These are the ones whom God has guided, and these are the ones who possess intelligence.”  (The Message 39:18)

 

A clear example of a multi-meaning word and how its incorrect application can cause serious problems is the word ‘Daraba’ which occurs in 4:35 and is primarily used to mean ‘beat/strike’.

 

“The men are to support the women by what God has gifted them over one another and for what they spend of their money.  The upright women who are attentive, and keep private the personal matters for what God keeps watch over.  As for those women from whom you fear a desertion, then you shall advise them, and abandon them in the bedchamber, and ‘Idriboohun’; if they obey you, then do not seek a way over them; God is High, Great.”  (The Message 4:35)

 

The choice of ‘beat/strike’ in this example creates a bizarre meaning as the verse is dealing with the issue of resolving a husband/wife dispute, and that if the final step were to ‘beat’ ones wife then that is a sure guarantee for ending the marriage rather than fixing it! 

 

The word ‘Daraba’ has at least 6 meanings in Arabic and are all used within the Quran:

 

·         “O you who believe, if you attack (Darabtum) in the cause of God then make a clear declaration, and do not say to those who greet you with peace: ‘You are not a believer!’  You are seeking the vanity of this world; but with God are many riches.  That is how you were before, but God favoured you, so make a clear declaration.  God is expert over what you do.”  (The Message 4:94)

·         “So how will it be when the Angels put them to death, striking (Yadriboona) their faces and their backs?”  (The Message 47:29)

·         “So We sealed (Darabna) upon their ears in the cave for a number of years.”  (The Message 18:12)

·         “Shall We take-away (Na’drib) the reminder from you, because you are a transgressing people?”  (The Message 43:5)

·         “Have you not seen how God cites (Daraba) the example of a good word is like a good tree, whose root is firm and its branches in the sky.”  (The Message 14:27)

·         “As for the poor who face hardship in the cause of God, and they cannot leave (Darban) the land; the ignorant ones think they are rich from their modesty; you know them by their features, they do not ask the people repeatedly.  And what you spend out of goodness, God is fully aware of it.”  (The Message 2:273)

 

As such, the best understanding which can be used and which will then give a logical and consistent meaning to the issue of working towards the resolve of matrimonial strife is that the husband yields by ‘leaving/separating’ rather than letting the wife carry out her wish to leave:

 

“The men are to support the women by what God has endowed them over one another and for what they spend of their money.  The upright women who are attentive, and keep private the personal matters for what God keeps watch over.  As for those women from whom you fear a desertion, then you shall advise them, and abandon them in the bedchamber, and separate from them; if they obey you, then do not seek a way over them; God is High, Great.”  (The Message 4:35) 

Pickthal has used the word “admonish” while Ahmad Ali has used suasively (from suasion, a noun).  

Personally, I cannot reject the book because there is one word that could (or just may) possibly allow some one to get physical with his wife when all else has failed. We all live in the west, where one cannot use corporal punishment even for one’s kids or the police may be summoned and the parent can be put in jail. (This is a complex discussion and an argument by itself). This may have some thing to do with our sensibilities to make us jumpy when we come across such words which (may) lead to unacceptable meanings. All that glitters is not necessarily gold. I am including an article written by a women, who looks at the whole thing from another angle, please see Appendix A below.  

Your comment that 14 centuries ago they may have seen some miscarriages and guessed about embryology – are you kidding? You can see blood and fat clots even when you slaughter animals and birds for meat, does that mean the butchers should be the top embryologists and microbiologists. Please see Appendix B for views from a medical doctor on this subject.   

I wonder why did you decide to push Aristotle into all this, is it still in fashion to drop this name whether or not it has any thing to do with the topic? 

Let’s not get into the poetry distractions. A couple of months ago you were bent upon creating a nuclear explosion out of the dust particle (zarrah). (if you could, that would make you the richest man on earth as, so far we know of only two elements that can fission and only one exists in nature) 

Regards,

Javed I. Chaudry

Dec 3, 05 

Appendix A 

By:  Fatimah Khaldoon

Domestic violence represented by wife beating or abuse is rampant in this country  and around the world. While the exact numbers on domestic violence incidents differ, because this is such an under-reported crime there are statistics on which most experts agree.

1. In 1984 the US Surgeon General declared domestic violence as this nation's number one health problem. (US Surgeon General)

2. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds by her partner; it happens at some time in 25-35 % of American homes; 4,000 women die from such abuse each year. (FBI)

3. Physical abuse by male social partners is the single most common source of injury among women ages 15 to 44, more common than auto accidents, muggings and rape by a stranger combined. (U.S. Surgeon General, 1989)

4. In USA, medical costs from domestic violence total at least $3-5 billion annually. At least another $100 million can be added to the cost to businesses in lost wages, sick leave and absenteeism. (Sylvia Porter, For Your Money's Worth)

5.Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered - by husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners. (Surgeon General Antonia Novello, as quoted in Domestic Violence: Battered Women, publication of the Reference Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA)

6.Approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) at Emerge are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. these have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. (For Shelter and Beyond, Massachusetts Coalition of Battered Women Service Groups, Boston, MA 1990)

Statistics as these should awaken all those in denial of the fact that wife beating and abuse is an endemic disease in all different cultures, religions and communities. It is as common in Western as it is in Eastern societies.

Men in Western (and Eastern) societies do not abuse their wives because of scriptural teachings, but because of a natural instinct of domination and aggression. God, knowing this, has therefore decreed a perfect law to help men control their temper and to solve any problems before resorting to physical aggression.

These statistics reflect the failure of modern societies in treating this perilous condition in men. Despite advances in modern psychology and improved understanding of behavioral patterns of men, civilized and uncivilized, a successful solution to this aggressive behavior has not been found by man.

A solution has however been presented to the world in the Quran, the Final Testament, more than 1400 years ago, in verse 4:34.

[4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

At first glance this verse may appear as if promoting physical abuse of women. But when reading 4:34 carefully one realizes that it actually prohibits abuse and beating of women by using the best psychological approach.

The advise to first talk and then avoid sexual contact, provides the necessary time and space for both parties to cool off, reason, examine the problem and reach a favorable agreement for both of them.

Abuse of a wife will not happen if the man learns to follow the clear commandments of God in this verse and in the order decreed. Abuse will only happen when a man does not follow these commandments, and thus fails to cool off and reason with himself or with his wife.

Sura 4, where we read 4:34, entitled "The Women," is one of the longest chapters in the Quran. It deals with many of the rights and responsibilities of women, rights that were first available to western women only a few decades ago, and some that still aren't. The theme of this Sura is to defend women's rights, and countering injustice and oppression of women. Thus, any interpretation of verses in Sura 4 must be in favor of the women, not the other way around.

Unfortunately 4:34 is extremely abused by many of the so-called "Muslim" men in the world. While disregarding their own obligations and their own righteousness, these men only focus on the third step of handling this difficult condition as described in 4:34, skip the first two necessary steps and give themselves the excuse to beat their wives. They find support for their misguided and biased views, and for treating their spouses unjustly, in the fabrications of the so called Hadith and Sunna. They thus misrepresent the true Islam (Submission), and divert people from this perfect and just religion for all.

We have to remember that the right given to the man in 4:34, can only be claimed when you have a situation with a righteous man on one hand dealing with a situation in which his wife repeatedly commits "Neshooz" which is an unrighteous, wicked  and rebellious act. Abusing this law and the attempt to apply it to regular daily marital disagreements is not warranted by the  strong and selective wording of the verse. Furthermore, for a man to demand or claim this right, he must first give that woman all the rights God has given her and follow all aspects of the commandment without skipping any part of it. God clearly says in the Quran that He has decreed for the men and the women rights and obligations equitably (2:228).

In reality, a believing husband would most probably NEVER come to the stage where he would actually lay a hand on his wife. He would be much too careful to examine his own motives first, as a God fearing man, before exercising this right. As we see in the verse immediately following 4:34, when the marriage reaches this stage it's on it's way to end, as the very next words in the Quran reads; "If a couple fears separation…"

Most women in the world today do not enjoy the protection verse 4:34 grants them. Instead they are unjustly abused, verbally and physically, by unrighteous men in unrighteous ways, and get beaten up for the most trivial of reasons, or for no reason at all. According to 4:34 even if the husband has a good reason, he is not allowed to lay a hand on his wife until he has passed all the previous steps.

The woman's responsibility in a marriage starts the day she chooses a husband. If she wants to enjoy her God given rights, she must obey her God given commands, and choose a believing husband. Thus, she can expect from him to treat her in accordance with God's decree, and not transgress against her. She can expect from a believing husband that he will heed any reminder she gives him, if he forgets. If she chooses to disregard God's commands, she has to know that there will be consequences.

If women expect the men's deeds to have consequences, they should expect the same for themselves. These consequences are however well controlled to protect the women from the outrage of  the angry husbands as we can find in God's law for the believers in 4:34.

We also learn that one of the traits of the righteous is that they suppress anger.

[3:134] "…They are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people. GOD loves the charitable."

The nature and essence of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife is beautifully expressed in the following verse from the Quran:

[ 30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

[3:195 ]"Their Lord responded to them: "I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you MALE OR FEMALE, YOU ARE EQUAL TO ONE ANOTHER........."

When facing difficult times, even if the man dislikes his wife, God has decreed;

[4:19] O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit what the women leave behind, against their will. You shall not force them to give up anything you had given them, unless they commit a proven adultery. You shall treat them nicely. If you dislike them, you may dislike something wherein GOD has placed a lot of good.

And when divorce happens, the full respect to the wife is urged,

[2:229] Divorce may be retracted twice. The divorced woman shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably, or leave it amicably. It is not lawful for the husband to take back anything he had given her. However, the couple may fear that they may transgress GOD's law. If there is fear that they may transgress GOD's law, they commit no error if the wife willingly gives back whatever she chooses. These are GOD's laws; do not transgress them. Those who transgress GOD's laws are the unjust.

In conclusion; A BELIEVING wife and a BELIEVING husband will NEVER get to the point where beating of the wife enters the picture. A BELIEVING couple will consult one another and agree on the best way to solve their differences as verse 4:34 and the whole scripture recommends.

We have to know that we are not in this world to protect unrighteous behavior. We are in this world to be given a last chance to make the right choice and submit to God alone. Making the wrong choices will have consequences for all of us, both in this world and in the eternal Hereafter, for women and men equally.

Appendix B

Closing the Gap