Dear Dr. Tahir Qazi sahib, 

In response to your following comment: 

Hassan Mirza: “…she is able to transform the inherited fire of humanity from a flame to a tulip”. If it is true, how would to explain mother-in-law and daughter-in-law phenomena and many other situations like that? 

I would like to state that in post # 47, I presented a point of view that Violence occurs as an obstacle in the path towards freedom. If we see mother-in-law/daughter–in-law phenomena in that light, it can be attributed to the fact that mother-in-law loses freedom to a great extent after arrival of daughter-in-law. Likewise, daughter-in-law does not seem to get enough space. However, this is not the end of the story as once the children are born, common love for them from both the women breaks the barrier of self created zones resulting in acceptance of each other leading towards the relationship of love and respect. Also, mother in law/daughter in law phenomena is not such a threat that could alarm humanity to make laws and create prisons for such conflicts. It is a more prominent form of parents/children disputes where love ultimately remains dominant. 

Back to your comment! It has been taken from the post # 55 that I wrote in response to our respected friend, in context of humanistic violence that could result in destruction and deaths. Such violence is almost always perpetrated by men. Yes, I agree that if we start narrowing down the definition of violence, then not only mother-in-law/daughter-in-law disputes but violence will be noticeable in eating meat, cutting trees, plucking flowers and not only that but the ways of looking, eating, walking, talking etc can also be found quite violent. All these violent expressions are ways to assert us, to show power, which is again an attempt to find freedom, though unknowingly. A power seeker lives under an impression that with power, he can ride on the horse of fate removing all the obstructions of his ways to get whatever he wants – an illusion of freedom again. 

When I mentioned violence and love through the analogy of flame and tulip, it was an attempt to show the possibility of transforming negative into positive. To elaborate it further, every one of us carries fire within (even physically we are hot-blooded). Life is inconceivable without an element of fire. Aziz Hamid Madani sahib has said it beautifully in one of his ghazals: 

Tez hawa ki chaap sae teera banon mein lo uthee

Rooh-ae taghyyur-ae jahaan aag sae faal lae gaee

Life happens and makes us aware of ourselves like a breeze that causes awareness of waves in an ocean. For a new life, a new sun rises and....... 

Woh po pathee, woh kiran sae kiran ko aag lagee 

a fire like energy occurs that moves us throughout our lifetime. This energy is the driving force of ever unfolding life forms and the whole creative process revolves around it. Joy emanating from the colourful petals of flowers; singing of birds at the time of sunrise; sweet inviting smell of fruits arising from a little treasure house of fields; rising waves in the full moon night for touching the face of moon reflect a few of many outbursts of this energy.  

Roshan jamaal-ae yaar sae hai anjuman tamaam

Dahka hua hai aatish-ae gul sae chaman tamaam

Though man and woman come from the same source, but fire in woman is not directed to destroy other life forms rather used in creating life, while man easily channelizes his energies to create death out of life. A woman may raise her hands for dua but cannot chop a head off. With all these favourable remarks for woman, I do not mean to say that man esoterically is inferior to woman. His only problem seems to be heavier chains and perhaps a stronger prison due to cultural conditioning that keeps him pulling down from flying high towards the sky of freedom. 

Regards 

Hasan N. Mirza 

December 10, 2005